How I Live Now
by Lunaw1996
Summary: "Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess." Naruto never saw her coming, and somewhere along the line he knew he would never be the same again. Possible mature content and mentions of depression/suicide later on.
1. Chapter 1

Hey!

So this is my first story, I'm planning on making it a long one hopefully so I hope you'll stick around.

Any criticism or praise at all would be greatly appreciated and I'm sorry if you don't like my story or think it's boring, though I hope that's not the case!

Thanks

I do not own Naruto.

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><p>"<em>Few people when meet first time they feel that meeting each other was the purpose of their life."<em>

A sudden breeze blew through the stillness of the hazy orange evening, a reminder that Autumn was just around the corner.

As Naruto, who today was on guard duty, was completing his second lap of the village outskirts he pondered this. The end of summer was finally coming and he would once again have to endure the cold and harsh winter in his unheated apartment. The thought alone was enough to make him sigh. This melancholic mood was a little uncharacteristic of him and he knew it, but he couldn't help but feel that it was justified.

He had been depressed lately, fed up of never being able to bring back his best friend, Sasuke, even after all the training he had undergone with his late master Jiraya. He also had to admit his waning feelings for Sakura, his childhood crush of so many years. He couldn't deny her feeling for Sasuke forever and as he distanced himself from those feelings of affection all that was left was a sense of loneliness that left a bitter taste in his mouth. Of course he still loved Sakura, just not in the same way any more and somehow that hurt.

Rounding back to the gates of the village and out of the trees, he looked out onto the dusty path that led outwards. The sunset looked beautiful today, he decided, and stood admiring the nature until voices floated into his ear from behind him. Turning, he observed the gathering of people at the gates only 15 metres away form him. There was Granny Tsunade and Shizune facing his direction and another figure with her back to him. He decided to approach, as his usual nosiness took over.

As he came closer he could hear their conversation more clearly.

"... hope you'll be comfortable." Tsunade finished with a smile, before noticing the boy heading their way. "Ah, Naruto! Anything to report?" She asked, and as he came to stand a little behind the unknown girl she turned his way, also waiting for an answer.

The girl looked around his age, if not a little older, with long brown hair that fell just below her bust. Her face was soft and round, with wide hazel coloured eyes and fuller lips, with the lower one being slightly lopsided if anything. She was much shorter than he, though, and on size alone could have been no older than 14. However, her frame gave away her true age as she had filled out in all her womanly ways.

"Uh... no" he decided, after looking the girl up and down once. Noticing the boy's eyes wandering, A smirk crept up on the elder Hokage's face.

"Ah-hem!" she caught the attention of both the young shinobi and began speaking again. "Naruto, this is Miya. She's transferred from Kirigakure today and from now on will be a Konoha shinobi."

The girl turned back to him then, with a straight face. "Nice to meet you." She extended her right hand to the boy who seemed a little speechless.

"Yeah..." he replied slowly, grabbing the warm hand before bursting into one of his usual Cheshire grins, "You too! Welcome anyways, It's really great here and one day I'm gonna be the Hokage so if you wanna get an autograph early that's fine by me!" he beamed, making the girl smile slightly before turning back to the smirking Hokage once more.

"Well, now that you two are acquainted, why don't you show Miya here around a little, after you've dropped your things off of course" The older woman smiled sweetly. To anyone else this would have seemed like a friendly gesture, but Naruto, of course, saw straight through the old lady's fake smile.

"O, Baa-Chan! Don't offload all of your work onto me just 'cos you're busy! I'm supposed to be done for the day you know." Naruto Argued. Although he did want to get to know the girl better, he was pretty tired himself and was supposed to be meeting up with the guys later.

"Naruto-kun, the Hokage is very busy right now..." Shizune started, her eyes pleading and thinking back to all of the paperwork still left to do.

Naruto grumbled something uninterpretable before resigning. "Fine! But I want an extra holiday for this" he bargained, playing it cool. In actuality, the thought of showing Miya around made him a little excited, something he hadn't felt in a while even if it did mean missing Yakini Q. Turning back to the girl, he said "I'll come by in about an hour, yeah?" to which she simply said thanks. As She left with Shizune to be shown to her apartment, Tsunade gave Naruto the address and he set off back to his own place to change.

As he walked he thought. Half an hour ago his day had been much less interesting, and he wasn't sure why he felt a little excited now._ Transferred huh? I wonder what would make a person do something like that... she was pretty good looking though, heh!_ He smirked with an accomplished look on his face, before turning the lock on his door and going inside, all trace of his sullen mood abolished, it seemed.

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><p>Miya had never been in a place like this. Back in Kirigakure everything seemed a little colder, more dangerous. However, as she walked behind the small brown haired woman to her new home she couldn't help but feel warmth. Not from the particularly nice evening weather but the people, the liveliness of the streets, the children still out playing ball and the hustle and bustle of it all. Thinking back to her life in Kiri she couldn't help but feel at home already.<p>

She also thought back to the boy at the gate, recalling his name and his big silly grin. She smirked to herself a little, thinking about the way he had totally checked her out back then, before her face hardened and she cut off her thoughts. _No, you idiot._ she thought harshly. _You are not doing this! _She decided. However, as she was led up a small flight of stairs and into a small three roomed flat, that bright white smile stayed begrudgingly imprinted in her mind.

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><p>Thanks for coming this far!<p>

Tell me if you liked it, loved it, hated it, thought it was boring or whatever if you feel like it, i'd love to hear from you!

Also, i wasnt


	2. Chapter 2

Yo!

So for some reason, last time i decided to end the authors notes in the middle of a sentence. I have no idea why and/or what I was supposed to be saying... Oh well!

This chapter took soooo long to write -_- it's still not how I like it, and i usually just write sporadic chapters, not chromatic so this is kind of new to me. If it's bad, please tell me! I don't want it to be!

If anyone cares, the song I listened to pretty much the whole time I was writing this was "Without Words" by Ray Lamontagne, It has the kind of vibe I imagined for this chapter.

Anyway, lets get on shall we?

I do not own Naruto.

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><p>It was almost dark now as Naruto made his way out of his apartment. Locking the door and walking down the landing outside, he shoved his hands in the pockets of his shorts, having decided not to go with the usual orange tracksuit and instead opting for a pair of black shorts and a long sleeve orange Tee. Sauntering down the stairs and turning down the main street he set off to the new girl's apartment, with a little more bounce in his step than usual. It was simply in his nature to be friendly and meeting new people really gave him a buzz.<p>

As he set off his mind wandered. _Who is this girl? Like, yeah she transferred, but why?_ Naruto couldn't tell if the girl had been intentionally cold towards him earlier but he sensed something was off.

The ten minute walk seemed to pass quickly and once he reached the block of apartments Miya was staying in, he looked up to the top exasperatedly. _Right at the friggin' top..._ he grouched before making his way up the metal stairs that circled the building. Coming to the front door he paused, listening. From inside he heard small footsteps and the shuffling of something heavy. Hesitating slightly he knocked on the door, ignoring the tiny skip his heart did.

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><p>Miya Had pretty much finished putting all of her clothes in the new tall wardrobe and was just moving everything else into the kitchen when she heard a lazy knock at her door. Her heart jumped a little, <em>An hour already?<em> She thought, putting the small yet heavy box in her hands on the floor.

Miya felt her usual nerves creep up on her, and sedated the panic that began to bubble in her stomach. It had always been this way, since back then anyway. Meeting new people was not her strong suit at all, not because she was shy or anything, she just didn't know how to be comfortable around people she didn't know, people she didn't trust. Her first thought would always be 'How is this person going to hurt me'. Simple conversations turned into a way of analysing motives or agendas. She had closed herself off from almost everyone she had loved.

However, thinking back to the boy from the gate, there was something about him that was different, something she couldn't quite put her finger on.

Making her way out of the kitchen, she sighed._ It's time to let it go_ she thought a little sadly. _This is why you came here._

Walking out into the hallway and into the genkan she opened the door slowly, only to be greeted with that same eyes-shut-cheesy-grin from earlier.

"Yo!" Naruto called with a mock salute, before opening his azure orbs and meeting with round hazel ones.

Miya deliberately sighed once, ignoring the flips her stomach was doing, then smiled and said, "Come in, if you want. I'll be ready in a sec" with a cool aloofness. Naruto simply followed the girl inside and, slipping off his shoes said, "Mind if I look around?"

Miya just nodded, walking off into her bedroom to find the shoes she had packed and to change her t-shirt while the boy looked around. As he walked in there was a long wooden corridor and all of the rooms were on the left.

The first he came to was the kitchen/diner, a simple rectangle room with white walls and wooden floors, a large window and table on the far end of the room on top of a green rug and a fridge and counter tops towards the entrance. The room felt spacious enough and seemed so clean compared to his hardly-cleaned home.

The next room he came to was a small bathroom with a simple bath/shower, toilet and sink, by far the smallest room of the three. The last he came to was the bedroom and, without thinking, he flung the ajar door wide open, only to be met with the back of a topless Miya, who swiftly proceeded to turn bright red and start screaming at him.

"Oi! Get out!" she spluttered turning darker shades of red every second.

Naruto's face mimicked her colour chart and he flailed for the door, completely embarrassed, slamming it shut. _Shit!_ He cursed, covering his mouth with his hand. Hormones rushed trough his teenage body as he tried to suppress the image he had just witnessed, soft white skin, black laced underwe- _Stop it!_ He slammed his eyes shut and walked back towards the front door, sitting on the ledge of the genkan instead, completely ignoring his subconscious thoughts and instead focusing on where he was going to take the girl.

When Naruto heard the bedroom door open once more, he turned to see Miya appear again, this time fully clothed. She was wearing simple black leggings, a plain white t-shirt that clung to her torso slightly and as she approached the boy she stepped out of her slippers and pulled on a pair of black sandals.

"Next time," she started, not looking at the boy and with traces of a blush still clear on her cheeks, "Knock before you come in." Naruto could sense the annoyance on her features. _She's sulking..._

"Uh, yeah," He replied, scratching the back of his head and grinning awkwardly, "Sorry about that." Naruto looked down at the girl who simply opened the door and left him standing inside.

"Come on then, aren't you supposed to be showing me around?" She sighed. Her subconscious was kicking her internally, _Stop acting so cool! Look at him, he's totally hot and you're here acting like a complete bitch. Aaaaand he just saw you in your underwear!_ Miya battled with her inner self, telling her to shut her mouth and refusing to be swayed by the boy in front of her, now leading her down the stairs. _I came here to be a shinobi, not be infatuated with the first guy I meet._

As they both came to the bottom of the stairs, Naruto turned to her. "I'll take you downtown if you want, there's some pretty good places to eat. That is, if you're hungry?" He smiled, attempting to break through the impenetrable aura she seemed to have.

"Whatever..." She replied, turning her face away. _Still sulking..._ Naruto couldn't tell if she was blushing or simply pouting, but he leaned in close to her and chuckled. _What a stubborn girl_ he though with a laugh.

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><p>As they walked the streets, Miya seemed to warm slightly. Naruto noticed the little things she did, like the way her eyes seemed to glitter as she looked around the still-busy streets mesmerized, or the way she smiled at the kids playing tag or ninjas. He also noticed the way her face relaxed as they wandered, and when she looked up at him from the corner of her eye deep hazel eyes and smiled a little, he turned away swiftly trying to ignore the flutter from inside his chest. <em>What's up with me?<em> He questioned internally. _It's like, every time she looks at me..._

Meanwhile, the girl observed Naruto quietly. At first she was unsure, as he bombarded her with unrelenting praise for his home town and told her of the best flower shops and supermarkets. However, there was something warm and friendly about the boy that she liked, although she wouldn't show it.

Both of their thoughts were cut off however as they were interrupted by a certain spiky haired teenager.

"Yo, Naruto." He stated flatly, looking between the two of them. "I was just on my way to meet up with you guys..." he trailed off, seeming mildly confused, but at the same time sounding not particularly interested.

"Ah, sorry man. Showing the newbie around," He looked down at the girl, pointed a thumb at her and gave her a wink, causing her to smile a little before turning a light shade of pink. "... Looks like I wont make it." Naruto's inner self congratulated him. _Just like that, play it cool._

"Ah, The Fifth mentioned something like that... Well, nice to meet you anyway, I'm Shikamaru, you'll probably see me around sometime." He offered a smile, to which the girl replied,

"Nice to meet you too," Without offering one back and turning away quickly. Shikamaru looked at the girl confused before sighing audibly and turning back to Naruto.

"Anyway, I'll let the guys know. See you later." He said, and once Naruto had offered a wave goodbye he carried on past them. The two then set off walking again, their pace slow and leisurely.

Naruto turned to the girl now, feeling confused. Without thinking, a 'special' trait of his, he opened his mouth.

"What's up with that? You shy or something? You should smile a bit more." He chuckled, patting her on the head. Miya looked up at him, annoyance burning in her eyes. Seeing this, Naruto's hand recoiled comically before offering a 'What-did-I-do' kind of expression. Miya sighed.

"I just don't do well with new people. Why should I smile at someone I don't know?" She offered flatly, as though this was a perfectly normal and rational excuse.

Naruto gave a skeptical look before replying. "What about 'First impressions last' or something like that. And anyway!" He joked now, "You smiled at me before!" He beamed at this, feeling accomplished.

"Well... that's..." Miya couldn't think of the reason herself. "Well fine then, I wont!" She finished, crossing her arms with a 'hmph!". Inside, she was screaming _What are you doing?!_ However, she had learned not to let her inner goddess get the better of her and go getting all **doe eyed** over some _boy_. No, she had learned about that the hard way.

The blonde boy deadpanned now, more confused about the girl than ever. As she stormed off, in a direction she probably had no idea about, he thought. _God, this girl is something else, she's up and down more than a friggin' mountainside! What's that mean anyway, 'why should I', it's a smile for hell's sake!_ His short temper argued with no-one to listen inside.

However, as he walked behind the girl slowly, he looked back at her face, her deep hazel eyes. He watched as she followed a small white moth with her pupils, fluttering past her face and up towards the streetlamp. _Everything here seems to amaze her,_ he thought softly, admiring the awed look on her face with a small smile. Catching himself suddenly, he thrust his hand through his hair before shaking his head and catching up to her.

When they finally reached their destination, Naruto stopped walking and stood outside the small ramen stand with his arms pointed forwards.

"There it is, Miya" Naruto gleamed, "The best ramen house in the world!" Hoping and praying that the girl liked ramen.

"I've never eaten it..." She muttered, not wanting to disappoint the boys evident pride in the pokey old shop.

"Never eaten... WHAT?" Naruto almost screamed. Miya giggled ever so slightly and looked back to the shop. Naruto regained himself and unconsciously reached out to grab the girl's arm. As his fingers brushed her skin both of them felt a sudden shock and both pulled away, blushing.

"S-sorry haha!... Lets go in!" Naruto covered, not looking the girl in the eye. Watching him lead the way, Miya followed Naruto into the stand and took a seat next to him.

As they ate, Naruto lead the way in the conversation as usual, something he had always been good at. While he told her about all the things he loved about Konoha he noticed the way she seemed genuinely interested and stared at him intently. Every time their eyes met it seemed for a second too long, and he found himself longing for those extra milliseconds of hazel. For some reason this made him a little nervous, though he didn't know why.

On the other hand, Miya watched the boy talk incessantly. The way he described everything here so enthusiastically drew her in and she found herself mesmerised by his words, his voice. When she looked into those deep azure eyes there was something she couldn't describe that fascinated her and she felt like she couldn't look away. The feeling was uncomfortable. _Don't get close,_ she reminded herself over and over again. However, as much as she wanted to deny it, she felt comfortable around him already. like she already knew him.

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><p>When they had finished eating, and Naruto's chivalrous offer to pay had been turned down flatly, they left the shop both feeling satisfied.<p>

"It was good." Miya said simply as they walked out, looking up at him and offering a little smile.

"Told you!" The boy beamed. "So, want me to walk you back? You might get lost now that it's dark."

Miya considered this before questioning, "Won't your parents get mad?"

"Don't have any," The boy smiled wistfully, before looking up at the Hokage monument and pointing. "That's my Dad up there."

"I see," the girl offered a genuine smile, "I'm sorry about that. He must have been a real hero if he was the Hokage."

Naruto spent most of the ten minute walk back recounting the heroic tale of his father and his battle with the Kyuubi. He gushed about how cool his dad was and how he didn't mind him not being around because of what he did, before realising something.

"Hey, you came alone right? How come your family aren't with you?" He questioned innocently. At this the girl turned away from him and clenched her fist tightly. Naruto noticed this, his interest piqued even more.

"That's... none of your business..." She murmured coldly. Naruto knew not to push it further but he was now intrigued. Giving a small 'hmmm' the boy watched her face reflect in the streetlight glow. Naruto smiled warmly, trying to change the mood.

Miya looked up at him and his smile, the same smile again. _Why?_ She thought as they set off walking. "Why do you make that face?" She questioned tactlessly, not taking her eyes off him. Naruto stared back, the intensity of her look no going unnoticed.

"What face?" He replied, not understanding what she meant.

"That smile. It's like the hugest grin I've ever seen. I don't get it." She said flatly. Naruto thought about this, puzzled. _What does she mean she 'doesn't get it'? It's a smile, not a crossword puzzle. What is she trying to work out?_ The blonde boy wasn't sure whether it was a compliment or not, and her face gave nothing away.

"I guess... that's just how my face looks? Why, is it strange?" He asked tentatively, not sure if he actually wanted an answer.

"No, it's not." She replied, turning away. _Just really, really handsome!_ Her subconscious squealed. Miya suppressed a smile at the thought, which didn't go unnoticed by the taller boy now completely confused but he felt reassured by her smile. When they reached her block, she stopped and faced him.

"You don't have to walk me up" She said, and then in a random spasm of enthusiasm, trying to emulate the boy she gave a real smile and flashed her teeth, "Thanks for showing me around!"

Naruto stood and watched as she turned away, muttering a 'You're welcome' and staying glued to the spot. _That smile..._ he thought, dumbstruck. Turning to walk home, he gave one last glance at the girl now entering her apartment before setting off home himself, now completely exhausted from the day.

What a weird day, he thought, and before he could help himself a smile crept onto his face. _Wierd, but good. I think_.

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><p>When Miya entered her apartment, she locked the door behind her before leaning her back against it and sinking to the floor. "You fucking idiot..." She murmured, head in her hands.<p>

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><p>Kind of a longer chapter this time!<p>

Tell me what you think if you feel like it, I'd love to know :)

I feel like I need to work on my character develpoment... Sooooo hard :(

Anyway, thanks for reading! :)


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